To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
