actually, I'm a sock model
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
