Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
