Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
