She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
