she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
