Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
