Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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