What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
