Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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