my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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