So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So much Jack, so little girl.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
