Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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