I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize