kristin has been a bad kristin
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
this is an emotional support booty call
How does it feel to date your dad?
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