Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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