Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
