I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
