Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize