did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
