they need to just BURY HIM!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
