I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
