Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
