So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
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