Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
