I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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