this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
