didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
