I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
