My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
