first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
