I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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