Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
