I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize