so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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