i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
