just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
