He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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