trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
