Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
