You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
