Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize