I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
