Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
COCAINE IS GR8
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
