i would punch a child for taco bell
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
They took my balls.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize