5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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