I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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