I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
