i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
