I wannas sexs uuuuu
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
