I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
