Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
you never un-have a 4some
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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