I'd wear matching sweaters with you
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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