my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
