I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
