so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
