We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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