fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
