id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
