I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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