A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
