He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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