so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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