i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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